Gina Behm, MA, LCPC
The other day, I saw an IGTV post from the one and only Rachel Hollis, and in the video she addressed our tendency to push away compliments…you know what I mean here, let me set the scene, and yes this is a real life scenario from yours truly:
Co-worker: I love that headband!
Me: Really? I just throw this on when I haven’t washed my hair…
Co-worker: Yeah, it looks so cute on you.
Me: Haha thanks, I think I look bald.
You get the picture. Why couldn’t I just start (and stop) with “thank you”? So anyway, while this was the premise of Rachel Hollis’video, it got me thinking about something else – how often we give credit to others for our accomplishments. It’s one thing to share credit where credit is due, but have any of you known anyone, or even yourself, given credit to someone else when you were the sole deserver of the praise?
I think a lot of us learned as children to be “team players”, and have learned that we are being selfish if we take all the credit; but if its yours, then take it! Knowing our worth and being proud of our accomplishments is not selfish, it’s self-focused, and those are not the same thing. You know who is self-focused? Confident, independent, successful individuals. Sure, it can’t be all about you, because then you would be a classifiable narcissist, and that is an entirely different can of worms :) But it should be mostly about you, because its your life, and you’re the star of the show!
All in all, lets start being rebels in this “other focused”society that has somehow become the norm, particularly for women. I challenge you all to make a list today of five things you have achieved that you are proud of. Once you complete your list, share one of those things with a friend, and do so unashamedly and without sharing the credit. Lets celebrate our accomplishments, because we deserve it!