Gina Behm, MA, LCPC
Instagram Series : SHAME
Hey y'all! This blog post is going to be info that, if you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you've already seen. I have decided to collect my social media series in one spot so they are easily accessible if anyone is ever in need of a quick reminder or overview*. I am starting here by collaborating my first Shame Series into this post; the Body Series and NEDA Week Series will follow shortly, and then I will upload additional series as I output them. So, if you've already seen this info, feel free to skip this post... or maybe you want to freshen up since it has been a few months! Moral of the story, from here on out, if you are ever in need of an all in one, simplified version of the info on my social media series, check back on the blog, because it's not going anywhere!
*Please note: this post is a SIMPLIFIED version of the series, which means the informational captions are cut significantly short. If you are seeking the full info, you'll have to head to my Social Media pages - they are linked at the bottom of this page!
This post is all about SHAME. During this series, we dive into shame; what it means, what it is, what it isn't, and how we can heal.
PART 1: DEFINING SHAME
Shame is the most powerful, master emotion; it is the fear that we are inherently not good enough - that we are BAD.
PART 2: SHAME IS A UNIVERSAL EMOTION
Shame is paralyzing, painful and isolating. That being said, what we know is that people across the globe experience shame! Therefore, despite the severity of this emotion, we need to remember that we are not alone in feeling it.
PART 3: SHAME IS NOT GUILT
The definition of shame can be seen above. The definition of Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime or wrongdoing. Guilt is a result of an intentional action while Shame is a perceived assumption of self. Why does it matter? Guilt is treated with acceptance or repentance, while Shame is treated by correcting negative core beliefs.
PART 4: SHAME THRIVES IN SILENCE When we keep our shame to ourselves, we remove the opportunity for feedback from others. We remove our opportunity to obtain corrective opinions and responses. Shame thrives in isolation, which means it weakens through connection.
PART 5: SHAME IS HIGHLY CORRELATED WITH...
Shame is arguably the most relevant emotion driving some of the most deadly disorders out there. Allowing shame thrive and grow inside you creates a higher likelihood of experiencing these disorders.
PART 6: SHAME DOES NOT MOTIVATE CHANGE
People often try to motivate through shame, however, this actually creates the exact opposite effect. When people feel ashamed, they often lose motivation, slip deeper into depression and solidify their belief that they are incapable of change; incapable of doing any good.
PART 7: SHAME CORRODES THE BELIEF WE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE
This one needs to be said twice because it is that important. We are not capable of growth when we are stuck in shame; the hold shame has on us is too great to move forward. Because of this, we need help digging ourselves out of shame.
PART 8: SHAME IS OFTEN UNWARRANTED
Unwarranted means not justified; in other words, shame is often inaccurate or misplaced. Identifying if your shame is warranted or not helps us create a plan of action. Creating mantras and compassion statements are one of the first stages in treating unwarranted shame.
PART 9: SHAME CANNOT SURVIVE EMPATHY
Empathy, connection and relationship are the demise of shame. We cannot combat shame alone. When we are in shame, we do not have empathy for ourselves, so we need others to share it with us. Moral of the story, REACH OUT
Thank you for reviewing my social media Shame Series here! Reminder to find me on Instagram & Facebook if you are wanting to read the full comments about shame. Look out in the upcoming weeks for the complete Body Series and NEDA Week Series as well!